I have this problem saying “no” to people and projects. I also have a really hard time asking for help. Maybe it’s because I mistake myself for Wonder Woman or simply overestimate my capacity to complete the request. I notice that I love to correct people at work, simply for the sake of making sure things are carried out correctly, and end up creating a lot more work for myself.
I also seem to make myself super accessible to everyone. I’ve trained them to think that they can just pop by my desk whenever they feel like it to ask me a question or if I read their email. I can’t help it that I have all the answers – people need me. Just kidding. I do not operate a help desk.
No matter how energized and motivated my day starts out, I only feel exhausted and defeated at the day’s end. Most of the time, I feel like I’m just skating by. A lot of my energy and my day is spent putting out fires that someone else created or I created (thanks to my big fat mouth), rather than on activities that actually require my skill set or help me achieve what I want to accomplish. I’ve also noticed that my upper back and shoulders get really sore by the end of the day because I go into turtle pose (as I call it). This is where I tense my upper back and shoulders, and they slowly creep up toward my ears so I either look like a nervous little turtle that’s trying to hide or like I’m practicing my creep moves for Halloween.
“Create your sacred space” – says every yoga instructor, life coach, and psychic in the world.
I’m not exactly sure how to do that. Maybe sacred space simply means turning off email, chat, phone, and locking myself in a room to give myself the attention to focus on what I need to accomplish before I tackle the rest of the world’s problems. Something that has been truly hard for me to accept is the fact that I cannot be everything to everybody. I’m going to try making myself unaccessable for a limited time every day at work.
We all have our fires to put out, but maybe if we practice setting boundaries, this will force others to prioritize what’s important enough to interrupt someone else’s flow.
Questions to explore:
Why do I glorify doing things myself?
Where does this struggle with asking for help come from?
Is this related to a fear of not having the answers or not being the expert?
How am I using my energy?
How do I empower myself to control my boundaries and prevent other people from taking my energy?