It’s 12:33 am, and I can’t sleep. I also have to wake up extra early in the morning for an early morning client meeting (😡). I went to bed 2 hours ago, and tossed and turned, with no hope at sleeping. I even took a sleep aid, but that didn’t work either. Out of sheer desperation, I decided to take a salt bath. For some reason, this always seems to help do tthe trick when my body is stubbornly fighting sleep. I really don’t know what it is bout a bath. Maybe it’s the muscle relaxation of soothing warm water surrounding me? Maybe it’s the release of toxins and the day’s stress? Maybe it’s healing me on various levels? I don’t know. All I know is that it seems to work when I submerge my heart into a warm tub of salt water.
But as soon as I jump in the tub, my mind isn’t comforted, and my racing thoughts only seem to float to the surface. It’s almost as if they’re fighting to be acknowledged. Okay, fine, I give in. I start paying attention to these thoughts, and I started to sense a pattern. These thoughts that were surfacing were about my personal life, growth, and fulfillment. These are thoughts and reflections that I have continually neglected and buried because I’ve been “too busy” to deal with them. And now, when I have a spare moment of peace and quiet, they’re fighting to be heard, acknowledged, and processed. Instead of carving time out for my own personal reflection and growth every day, I’ve been too busy chasing thoughts and goals for everything else in my life except my personal and spiritual growth. These thoughts that haunt me at bedtime tonight are important and deserve my attention, and this was the only way they could grab my attention.
It could be the fatigue talking, but maybe the next time sleeplessness strikes, it could be worth actually acknowledging them, and commit to yourself to process and do something about them in the morning.
Good night (hopefully).